Malaysian’s Sensitivities. A Foreigner’s Guide? Sensitiviti rakyat Malaysia? Panduan untuk Pelawat Asing?

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Malaysians are sensitive like the plant called Mimosa. They curled and closed up so fast the moment something touches them.

(Rakyat Malaysia adalah sensitive umpama tumbahan Mimosa. Ia mengerekot dan menutup dengan cepat apabila disentuhi.)

 

Malaysians are also sensitive like a woman scorned. Say anything right or wrong and wait for her to unleash the storm.

(Rakyat Malaysia juga seumpama wanita dihina. Cakap betul ke salah tetap kena belasah umpama menunggu angin ribut.)

 

So, if you are a foreign visitor to Malaysia, please be aware of the following, else you may be charged under the Internal Security Act or Sedition Act or maybe get whacked or maybe get a cold reception.

(Jika anda seorang pelawat asing ke Malaysia, kenalah prihatin, silap-silap terkena dakwaan di bawah ISA atau Akta Hasutan atau kena tumbuk atau mendapat reaksi dingin.)

 

1.         Do not talk anything about Pigs or Dogs or Cows or Snakes.

            (Jangan bercakap apa-apa berkenaan Babi atau Anjing atau Lembu atau Ular.)

 

2.         Do not talk anything about Mongolia, Israel or Singapore.

            (Jangan bercakap berkenaan Mongolia, Israel atau Singapura.)

 

3.         Do not talk anything about C4.

            (Jangan bercakap berkenaan C4.)

 

4.         Do not talk anything about Sodomy.

            (Jangan bercakap berkenaan Liwat.)

 

5.         Do not talk anything about Religion.

            (Jangan bercakap berkenaan Ugama.)

 

6.         Do not talk anything about God.

            (Jangan bercakap berkenaan Tuhan.)

 

7.         Do not talk anything about Bumiputera or Race.

            (Jangan bercakap berkenaan Bumiputera atau Bangsa.)

                       

8.         Do not talk anything about ISA or Sedition Act.

            (Jangan bercakap berkenaan ISA atau Akta Hasutan.)

           

9.         Do not talk anything about sleeping.

            (Jangan bercakap berkenaan tidur.)

 

10.       Do not talk anything about oil.

            (Jangan bercakap berkenaan minyak.)

 

11.       Do not talk anything about any sound or prayers you hear.

            (Jangan bercakap berkenaan bunyi atau sembahyang yang kedengaran.)

 

12.       Do not talk anything about the Bar Council.

            (Jangan bercakap berkenaan Majlis Peguam.)

 

13.       Do not talk anything about the latest world fashions.

            (Jangan bercakap berkenaan fesyen dunia terkini.)

 

14.       Do not talk anything about the latest world singers.

            (Jangan bercakap berkenaan penyanyi dunia terkini.)

 

15.       Do not talk anything about the latest novels.

            (Jangan bercakap berkenaan novel terkini.)

 

16.       Do not talk anything about the latest music.

            (Jangan bercakap berkenaan muzik terkini.)

 

17.       Do not talk anything about the best universities.

            (Jangan bercakap berkenaan universiti terbaik.)

 

18.       Do not talk anything about local universities.

            (Jangan bercakap berkenaan universiti tempatan.)

 

19.       Do not talk anything about keris or songkok.

            (Jangan bercakap berkenaan keris atau songkok.)

 

20.       Do not talk anything about Mat Rempits, Ah Longs or Transvestites.

            (Jangan bercakap berkenaan Mat Rempit, Ah Long atau Pondan.)

 

21.       Do not talk anything about tolls, electricity or water.

            (Jangan bercakap berkenaan tol, elektrik atau air.)

 

22.       Do not talk anything about prices of cars, education, sin or not sin taxes.

            (Jangan bercakap berkenaan harga kereta, pendidikan, cukai haram atau tidak haram.)

 

23.       Do not talk anything about Press Freedom.

            (Jangan bercakap berkenaan Kebebasan Akhbar.)

 

24.       Do not talk anything about Past Malaysian History.

            (Jangan bercakap berkenaan Sejarah Malaysia Lampau.)

 

25.       Do not talk anything about The Malaysian Constitution.

            (Jangan bercakap berkenaan Perlembagaan Malaysia.)

 

In short, when visiting Malaysia, pretend to be Malaysians, be dumb and deaf and don’t even think because a lot of people can read your mind and know ahead what you are thinking or planning to do.

(Secara ringkasnya, apabila melawat Malaysia, berpura-pura jadi rakyat Malaysia yang bisu dan pekak dan jangan sekali-sekali fikir kerana ramai orang boleh membaca minda dan ketahui apa yang difikirkan atau dirancang oleh anda.)

 

If you are the type who just need to talk, just talk about the weather only in Malaysia and anything else critical of any other country except Malaysia. Don’t even wish anybody, else you may be seen offending someone’s religion.

(Jika anda jenis yang suka bercakap, cakap sahaja tentang cuaca di Malaysia dan benda-benda lain yang mengkritik Negara lain kecuali Malaysia.)

 

Just enjoy the scenery and pay as you go along. Better still, get an Electronic Payment Toll Card and you don’t even have to talk to anyone.

(Nikmatilah pemandangan sekeliling dan bayarlah semasa merayau-rayau. Seeloknya dapatkan Kad Bayar Tol Elektronik dan anda tidak perlu bercakap dengan sesiapa pun.)

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